This is My Goodbye
by DemonHairedandBlueEyed
Summary: Mai couldn't face her boss after confessing her love to him. So she wrote 7 songs to express her feelings. Handing the CD of to Monk, Mai wonders if Naru would ever listen. Naru's confused as to why Mai wouldn't say goodbye and only give him a CD. Maybe it was time to open his ears and listen to what his assistant has to say. Music Inspired. READ AND REVIEW AND ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

**Hiya Guys,**

 **I wanted to go back to basics and try another Ghost Hunt Fan-fiction, last couple of days I've been rereading my old stories.  
** **One: My Grammar is terrible, Two: I forget the most easiest details, Three: My writings terrible, well, considering I had never wrote a story in my life around that time and now I've taken Creative Writing at Uni and College I feel, or rather, hope, my writing is much better then it used to be.**

 **So, I'm going to give this a go, as most of you know, the ones that have previously read my other fan-fictions you know that I incorporate a lot of music into my stories, I love music and how so much emotions comes from songs.**

 **I STAND WITH MANCHESTER AND LONDON!**

 **I live in the UK and what has happened this last couple of weeks has hit home and after Ariana Grande's performance yesterday you can see that Music brings so much, love, power.**

 **So anyway, lets get on with this one shot.**

 **The songs I have chosen are from various artist. Each one is different but are in the order I choose them for a reason.  
I hope you enjoy the story.**

* * *

Chapter One: The CD.

* * *

Thumbing the CD in her hands. Mai's hands trembled.  
Inside this CD was her life. All her thoughts and feelings laid out. Staring at the small cool object in her hands Mai debated throwing it in the bin and not even giving it away. She had a story to tell you see. In her hands was this story and she wanted to show it.  
Now, who she was giving these CD to was the question. Could she even hand it over to him?  
Sighing softly Mai looked up and towards the door. Could she leave her safe apartment in which she had been hold up in since she had lost her job.  
You see Naru had told her he was returning to England now he had found his brothers body. Mai knew that maybe this would happen, she knew he would have to leave. This shattered her heart and she felt like she had express her ever growing feelings to her cold boss.  
She didn't even want to replay that night.  
Thinking about it aloud tears to well up in her eyes.  
He rejected her.  
Scratch that.  
He asked if she was in love with his dead brother.  
Cue knife to the heart.  
How could he had ever say that-  
Mai clenched her eyes closed, she didn't want to keep thinking about that night. The whole reason the CD rested in her hands is she had to the conclusion that she needed to give him something that explain her feelings.  
You see, Mai had a knack from writing songs. Ever since her parents died it was a away to allow her emotions flow. She let her thoughts dance on to the page. Music expressed her bad times, it explored her good times and it aloud Mai to relax when times were rough.  
Mai stared down at the CD again long and hard.  
Could she really do what she wanted?  
What if he never actually listen to the songs? Could she really let him hear the emotions and was she really going to give him a second chance after her first confession.  
Mai knew she needed to do this. This was closure for her if he really wasn't coming back.  
Once Mai had calmed down after that night, she decided she would create this playlist. Most of the songs had already been written and over the 2 weeks before he left she was able to finish the CD. Being locked up in her apartment gave her plenty of time to sort that, among looking for another job. Lucky for her Masako had jumped in straight away. Mai's ever growing powers was something Masako thought would help out on her TV show. Masako had seen the way Mai was after that night and her own heart broke. She wanted nothing more than to help the girl she had previously hated.  
So, starting from next week, they would both be jetting off to the next venue Masako had to film.  
A knock interrupted Mai's erratic thoughts. Monk had finally arrived.  
It was time to face the music.  
Mind the Pun.  
Could she really do it?  
Mai sighed and slowly walked towards the door, each step harder than the last.  
Opening the door Monk stood there, his face emotionless. His eyes burning with sadness for Mai.  
He had also tried to help her.  
Monk music career was already on it's way to being phenomenal and all he wanted was to give Mai a chance to just express her music. Monk was her inspiration to the CD in her hand. Monk's idea of expressing herself gave her the idea in the first place.  
"You okay, Jou-chan?" he whispered.  
Mai stared long into his eyes.  
She couldn't give it Naru. She couldn't hand the CD over. Shoving the object into Monks chest like it burned her hands, tears drifted down her face.  
" _Ple-ase_ ," she trembled.  
" _Please give this to Naru_ ,"  
Monk stared at the sobbing teenager before him. His heart melting and splitting for the heartbreak written across her face.  
"Okay, Jou-chan."  
Mai smiled sadly at him before stepping back into her safety net.  
"Thank you Bou-san, I-" she paused and looked at her shaky hands.  
"I can't face him."  
Monk nodded his head and turned not knowing what to say to the broken girl.  
"See you soon Mai," he whispered throwing his hand up in the air as goodbye.  
Not having the words Mai slowly closed her door, turning slowly she began to sob, sliding down the door in trembles.  
She couldn't even say goodbye.  
All that was left was hope that he heard the CD.  
That was her goodbye.  
Mai sobs grew and echoed her apartment.  
She was now truly alone.

* * *

Monk was curious.  
The small object that lay in his hands had melted Mai to tears. Why couldn't she have the strength to give it to him. Standing with their rag tag group in the airport Monk mustered the courage and looked over at their ex-boss.  
"She wanted to you to have this," Monk whispered, handing the CD over to the tea-addict.  
Naru stared emotionless at the round object held in front of him. Naru was behind confused as to why Mai couldn't hand the CD to him herself. Maybe she was busy. As Naru took the CD from Takigawa he felt a wave of sadness rush over his body. His PK has picked up on the emotion radiating from the small object.  
His eyes widen slightly before slipping it into his jacket pocket.  
"Why couldn't she give it to me herself," he asked quietly looking at the group. Monk sighed softly, looking away from the teenager, was he that dense to not actually realise what's on that CD. Monk had a faint clue as to what was on there. He could also see that in the case there was a slip of paper, that probably held all the answers as to why he was handing the CD over.  
Shrugging softly the Monk rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.  
"She was busy packing, Masako's taking her away to her new job soon, she was so busy and frantic." he lied smoothly.  
Monk knew Lin probably picked up on the lie, Naru however seemed to accept the answer. Turning away Naru looked towards their gate, it was time to leave.  
"Lin," he spoke shouldering his bag.  
Lin nodded towards the group as they looked sadly on at the pair. It was time for a new chapter in all of their lives and that didn't include their narcissist boss and his guardian.

* * *

Noll shifted in his seat on the plane, they were roughly half way through their journey when he thought about the CD in his pocket. Why had Mai given it to Takigawa to give to him? Why couldn't she come say goodbye. Noll was confused as what caused the girl to be, dare he say it, afraid to say goodbye. He couldn't think of a reason as to why she would be afraid to see him one last time before he moved away. In all sense, she had said goodbye that dark evening but to him that night tugged uncomfortably on his heart strings.  
Gene.  
Gene had everything.  
Gene was perfect.  
Gene held Mai's heart.  
Noll stomach lurched at the thought, dare he say it, he wished that was him. Sighing softly, Noll pulled his laptop up onto the small shelf in front of him and proceeded to enter the disk. A window popped up and on it was 7 files.  
Seven songs.  
Noll raised his eyebrow at the names of each song. Looking at the case he took the small paper that was folded up inside and read what Mai had to say.

 _Naru, Kazuya, Oliver,  
I don't know what to call you anymore-_

 _Thank you.  
Mai._

Noll stared in disbelief at the note in his hand. Was that all she had to say? Looking between the note and laptop he knew that there was probably more to be said in the audio files. Putting his headphones on which earned a strange look from Lin, Noll played the first file.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading this chapter.**

 **It had taken me a at least three hours to write this. Some of the songs coming up in the following chapters have hit home and they are going to be quite emotional to write as some of the aspects of this story resonate with me.**

 **Thank you again.  
If you could READ AND REVIEW.**

 **It would help me see if I have developed, how my writing is and if you like the first Chapter in general.**

 **Peace out:** _DemonHairedandBlueEyed._


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi Guys, Thank you for read the first chapter.  
**

 **Here's the next one!**

* * *

Chapter Two: Play it Cool

* * *

Noll sat contemplating if to actually listen to the next song on the CD. You see, Noll was still stumped over the first song. It was something he never thought Mai would ever say to him. Why would she write that song and sing it the way she had. That first song was Mai singing if you haven't guessed it. Why would Mai leave seven songs for him to listen to. Sighing softly Noll thought back to the plane journey home.

* * *

Flashback-

* * *

 _A beat played softly into Noll's headphones, slow but also up-beating._

 _Something feels different with you  
It's gotta be a first  
You make my lips start to move  
I can't control the words  
_

 _Noll immediately paused the file._

 _Mai singing?_

 _Was that really her?_

 _Staring in shock at his laptop Noll couldn't believe that Mai had such an empowering voice. Taking his headphones off he looked at Lin.  
"Did you know Mai could singing?" he asked.  
Lin looked over at his young naive charge and couldn't believe he actually was that dense. Now, Lin was just as equally quite like Noll be he actually did listen and could understand what Mai felt for her boss. Lin sighed softly closing his book. Lin could see that Noll held some feelings for his young assistant but having lived a life with Gene and his personality, Lin could see Noll struggling with the idea of someone loving him and not Gene.  
"Yes I knew Taniyama-san could sing,"  
_ _Noll looked back at his laptop.  
_ _"She left me some songs," the teenager whispered almost in disbelief.  
_ _Lin couldn't help but wonder what was on the CD but knew it would have a huge effect on Noll over the next few days. This was obviously what Mai wanted. Lin didn't actually know what to say to Noll, it wasn't something he could comment on.  
_ _Noll sighed softly, something Lin rarely say him do, and put the headphones back on. Lin watched in surprise, but yet deep down, he knew that Noll would listen to every single one of those songs over and over again if that meant listening to Mai's voice and seeing what she had to say.  
Noll resumed the song._

 _La la  
La la  
What did I say  
It was all a blur  
What on earth am I to do_

 _I don't wanna get too serious_  
 _But I gotta say I'm curious_  
 _That look you're giving me mysterious_  
 _You make it hard to play it cool_

 _Something 'bout your eyes they're truth serum  
Listen for my thoughts I can't hear 'em  
Impossible to hide what I'm feeling _

_You make it hard to play it cool-ooh-ooh-ooh  
Na na Na na...  
_

 _Noll paused the song again.  
What was Mai trying to say?  
Why did she have to 'play it cool'?  
Noll was beyond confused and for once in his life, speechless.  
Yes Noll, Naru the Narcissist was speechless.  
Mai loved Gene.  
Mai had always loved Gene, but then why did that cause Noll's heart to burn in his chest. Debating if to stop the song altogether Noll hovered his finger over the eject button. From the seat next to him, Lin could see his charge struggling with the emotions coming from the CD. Lin could hear the song ever so softly coming from Noll's headphones and from what he could hear, Lin knew this was going to cause some serious changes in Noll's perspective.  
Noll moved his finger away from the eject button, he wanted to hear what Mai had to say.  
Noll resumed the song once again. _

_I hope it's alright  
I think I like you more than anybody  
Keep me up through the night  
I think about you more than anybody  
[x2]_

 _I don't wanna get too serious_  
 _But I gotta say I'm curious_  
 _That look you're giving me mysterious_  
 _You make it hard to play it cool_

 _Something 'bout your eyes they're truth serum_  
 _Listen for my thoughts I can't hear 'em_  
 _Impossible to hide what I'm feeling_  
 _You make it hard to play it cool-ooh-ooh-ooh_  
 _Na na na na..._

 _Cool_  
 _Yeah_  
 _You make it hard_  
 _To play_

 _I don't wanna get too serious_  
 _But I gotta say I'm curious_  
 _That look you're giving me mysterious_  
 _You make it hard to play it cool_

 _Something 'bout your eyes they're truth serum_  
 _Listen for my thoughts I can't hear 'em_  
 _Impossible to hide what I'm feeling_  
 _You make it hard to play it cool-ooh-ooh-ooh_  
 _Na na na na..._

* * *

 _Flashback end..._

* * *

Sipping softly at the tea his mother had made him, Noll's thoughts filled with images of his young assistant. Maybe she wanted him to bury the CD at Gene funeral. Noll couldn't understand why Mai would leave these songs for him. Even more, he still couldn't come to an explanation as to why she did give the CD to him herself.  
Placing the now empty cup on to his desk Noll stood and wandered over to the window and onto his balcony. Being home was a comfort to Noll. He knew being here he didn't have to hold the cold facade that he had been struggling with for the last two years he was in Japan.

His struggles were because of the small assistant that was causing him so much inner turmoil.  
Noll could only admit to himself that it hurt to see Mai like this, he did hold something towards his assistant but he couldn't quite grasp what it was.  
Mai loved Gene and Noll knew he could never live up to the standard his brother had set.

Gene and Mai were the perfect couple.

Looking over his shoulder at the small CD that sat in its case. Could he really listen to all the songs? Or did he do what he thought Mai really wanted and that was the bury the CD with Gene.  
Noll looked over the gardens his mother had built. All Noll ever wanted as a peaceful life, one without drama, one of solace.  
Why was that so hard to achieve now because of a small CD.

The door to Noll's office opened and his mother stepped in with a steaming cup of tea.  
Noll moved back into his office and sat soundlessly back at his desk. Papers littered all over his desk, most in neat piles but others of the many cases that he endured in Japan. His father wanted an update on the two years he was away and if Noll thought there was anyway to keep the branch open. Although it was used as a cover for Noll, these cases just proved that being in Japan could provide some business and paranormal phenomena.  
Setting the tea down beside her son, Luella could read her usually reserved son. Lin had already explained what could possibly be troubling the teenager and Luella couldn't decided between being happy for her son but also sad that he couldn't see past his twin.  
Noll was special in his very own way and this young Mai Taniyama had finally seen this. Not knowing what to say but planting a small kiss to the side of his head. Luella left her son to his thoughts. All she could hope was this had a happy ending for her son.  
He deserve that at least.

Noll watched his mother leave quietly without as much as a word to him. For Noll it was odd to see his mother act in such a way, her usual bubbly personality was something he enjoyed, he saw Mai in his mother and his mother in Mai with their overflowing personalties that light up the room.  
He also saw Gene in both of them.  
The three together would be quite the sight.  
Noll sipped at his tea silently, he had never begun to actually think like this in his life, he was in shock as to what could possible stop the struggles he was facing with just listening to one CD. Placing his tea down Noll resolved to listen to every song, if Mai wanted to tell him something in this cryptic way then he would listen.  
What could go wrong?  
Noll put the CD in and placed his headphones on.  
' _Here goes nothing'_ he thought and he played the second audio file.

* * *

 **What do you guys think?  
Please leave a review and tell me what you think.  
Thank you Guys!**

 **Peace out:** _DemonHairedandBlueEyed_


	3. Chapter 3

**Hiya Guys, hope you have enjoyed the first two chapters.**

 **Let me know what you think!**

 **Thank you to my first reviewer!**

 **Now time to get on with the story.**

* * *

Chapter Three: Wanna Be Your Baby.

* * *

As the rain poured Noll sat silently at the dinner table with his parents. Lin had come over a few hours ago to help discuss and go over what had happened in Japan. Martin seemed to take the information in and unsurprisingly had a lot of questions about Noll's brown haired assistant. Martin could see from the way his son spoke about this girl there was something that was deeply unsettling him. Something was tearing him in two and with a glance to his wife - who sat quite throughout dinner – he could tell she knew what was the subject matter.  
Now Martin of course was married to Luella but even then, he really couldn't give his son the advice he was probably looking for. Well maybe he could, but that would be telling and from previous experience Martin knew that Noll had to take this journey on his own and figure out what was causing the issue. Sighing softly Martin stood from the dinner table, "Thank you for dinner," he said to his wife, picking his plate up and heading towards the kitchen.  
Noll watched his father intently, why could his father have no trouble with his feelings for their mother yet he was struggling with these thoughts of Mai. How could he betray his brothers memory. Standing slowly, Noll left the dinner table with a small nod to his mother and followed his fathers footsteps to the kitchen.  
It was quite ironic that even though Martin and Noll were not related they acted the same, their personality mirroring each others. Luella could only sigh as she sat alone at the dinner table. She knew interfering with her son troubles would only cause more distress for the boy. Thinking back on how she was able to approach Martin, she could tell that Mai Taniyama was going through a hard time. Even so, she was also struggling with the fact there was a twin involved. Luella smiled sadly at the thought of her other son, Gene was finally home. Although not in the way Luella would have ever wanted, but he was home nonetheless.  
It was a shame.  
Gene would be the only person that could get Noll to realise, yet it was Gene unfortunately -even if it wasn't his fault- that caused the problem. Propping her head on to her hand Luella chuckled softly.  
"What a predicament," she whispered to the empty room.

* * *

"My mother knows," he whispered.  
"How so?" she asked, stepping into the light and closer to her companion.  
"She and my father have a similar past,"  
"No way," the girl went quiet, "How's he doing?" she asked.  
The boy looked over to her and sighed sadly.  
"Bad," the boy paused, "but he still doesn't get it."

* * *

Noll laid wide awake in bed. You see Noll _never_ had trouble sleeping. As soon as his head hit the pillow Noll was always out like a light. Noll made sure he got enough sleep each night, now he wasn't anal about it but he made sure he was in bed at the right time. A brown hair assistant had fucked that up too. Noll sighed aggravated.  
Why was the songs effecting him?  
Why did she have this effect on him?  
Was she getting him to listen too these tapes about Gene to torture him?  
Noll knew he held small feelings for the girl, he cared for her well being and what not and maybe more then that but Mai loved Gene.  
How could anyone love him when he had a twin that was just so much more better then him.  
Tossing over again Noll stared out of his small window. The first song was understandably about when they had first met and how she was a stuttering mess, now he was just confused about this next song.  
Mai loved Gene.  
Why would she sing a song as provocative as this one.  
Noll closed his eyes and prayed for sleep, but all he got was a rerun of this afternoon.

* * *

 _FLASHBACK_

* * *

 _Sometimes at night when I turn off the lights  
_ _I be thinking about you  
_ _Baby, baby, baby, yeah_

 _Tossing in my bed all these thoughts in my head  
Got me losing my breath now  
Baby, baby, baby, yeah_

 _Tell me what would you do  
If you only knew  
How I feel about you  
About you_

 _I wanna your be first, your last, your everything  
I wanna be in your arms indefinitely  
I wanna be someone you keep coming back to see  
I wanna be one  
I wanna be who  
Wanna be your baby_

 _Noll ripped his headphones off and lent back in disbelief. This was a change in tune.  
Yesterday's audio was about playing it cool and now all she could say is that she wanted to be his 'baby'.  
Noll pinched the bridge of his nose and let the headphones dangle in his hand.  
Why was Mai making his life so much harder?  
Why was she giving him these songs to listen to when they were clearly meant for Gene could listen too?  
Well that's if Gene could actually hear them.  
Placing his headphones on the table Noll picked up his tea and sipped softly.  
Why would Mai ever want to be with him? _

_Deep down inside there's an unending fire  
And I just can't contain it  
Baby, baby, baby, yeah_

 _You're the only one who came  
Show me that you feel the same  
I wanna hear you say my name  
Baby, baby, baby, yeah_

 _Tell me what would you do  
If you only knew  
How I feel about you  
About you, you, you_

 _Noll knew he was cold, he knew he was a narcissist, yet Mai was singing these songs which she deemed appropriate to their relationship.  
Relationship.  
Why would Mai want a relationship with him when there was Gene. Although Gene was dead, did Mai then think Noll would be the right person to choose because they looked the same.  
Did Mai class Noll as replacement.  
Noll stood and moved towards his window. How could he sit there and listen to her singing about his brother when the pain in his heart beat along with his own heartbeat. Somewhere deep down Noll wished it was about him, but how could she see past the cold facade he had shown her.  
For once Noll could actually say he cared with the small assistant, but what he did with that information could make or break him. Noll could still hear the song playing.  
Its soft beat echoing through the speakers of his headset.  
If he knew the songs were meant for Gene why did it hurt so much to listen to them. _

_I wanna your be first, your last, your everything  
I wanna be in your arms indefinitely  
I wanna be someone you keep coming back to see  
I wanna be one  
I wanna be who  
Wanna be your baby_

 _Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh  
I wanna your be first, your last, your everything  
I wanna be in your arms indefinitely  
I wanna be someone you keep coming back to see  
I wanna be one  
I wanna be who  
I wanna be your baby  
I wanna be your baby  
Baby, baby, baby  
Oh yeah, oh yeah  
Baby, baby  
Oh yeah_

 _As the song finished Noll stood in silence yet his mind echoed with noise.  
Noll needed advice.  
Noll wanted help for once in his life to sort through all these emotions thoughts and feelings. Feelings and thoughts he had never experienced in all of his life. How could so much hurt come from listening to a few songs recorded on a CD.  
How could his assistant so easily hand her emotions to him on a plate and Noll feel so broken inside.  
Noll in frustration threw his cup across the room and watched it shatter against one of his many bookcases. It would only be so helpful if a book could tell him what he was feeling, but that would be two easy wouldn't it.  
Luella entered the room at the sound of a crash and saw one of her china cups it pieces on the floor, looking up at her son's emotionless face but tormented eyes she could only imagine the heart ache he was going through.  
It was ironic, if only Gene was here to steer his brother in the right direction.  
Picking up the piece that laid scatted on the floor, she quickly left her son to his own thoughts. Looking at his mother leave, he knew she had many questions and some that even Noll didn't have the answers two yet.  
Noll sighed, his day he just gotten so much worse._

* * *

 _Flashback end..._

* * *

Noll rolled over onto his back, eyes closed and sighed softly.  
Why did Mai cause so much trouble and she wasn't even around?  
Why couldn't Noll get the songs out of his head?  
Thinking back to the small note left in the CD case, why would Mai be saying 'Thank you.'  
Opening his eyes, Noll stared at the ceiling as more question filled his mind and these all ending the same. Without an answer.  
It was going to be a long night.

* * *

"So he has listened to the second song,"  
"Yeah,"  
The girl sighed and covered her face with her hands.  
"You do realise, its just about to get a whole lost worse for him right?" she asked, looking towards her spirit guide.  
Gene smiled knowingly, of course it was. The next few songs were going to confuse the hell out of Noll, but, Noll needed to hear them. Noll needed to hear the heart break Mai's had gone through with Masako and Noll's rejection. Although Mai heart was still breaking she was still willing to try and prove to Noll he was the one. Gene looked down at the teenager, whose face was buried in her hands. Mai was truly a remarkable girl, the only person that could be by Noll's side.  
Gene smiled, "I know," he paused and put his hand on her shoulder. Mai looked up at her friend, "I know its going to get worse, but Noll needs to see that he will lose you."  
Gene let his hand drop and stared pensively at the floating spirits around them, he just hoped Noll would realise soon.  
The last song could make or break them both.

* * *

 **What do you guys think?  
Gene knew? Gene helping Mai?**

 **What are your thoughts, any predictions.**

 **Peace out:** _DemonHairedandBlueEyed._


End file.
